inothernews:

Due to a ballot measure being voted down, it’s still officially called the “State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.”

During the show last night we’d get our updates on election news in the wig room, which is right next to stage management, which means they have good wifi. Also there’s always somebody cooling their heels in there because no matter what’s going on onstage someone always needs a hair change or a beard put on or sideburns secured or their crown is falling off, etc etc. Wigs is our link to the outside world.

Around the time the Phantom starts singing “Point Of No Return” the ballerinas flood the wig room and last night we were greeted with the news that the measure to change the name of the state of Rhode Island had just been officially voted down. Nobody was really heart-broken but at least it’s something interesting to ponder while they pin on your Victorian curls.

“Well what did they want to re-name it, anyway?” one of the girls asked.

For a minute it seemed like nobody knew. But then my hair dresser enlightened us.

“They wanted a little symbol of its shape to stand in for its name, so they could just stamp that on all the documents and be done with it.”

Six white tutus shivered in their wig chairs, digesting the new idea, considering the information. You could hear the brains gnashing.

“So,” he continued, as nonchalantly as only a master ballerina-baiter can, “from now on we’d have had to refer to it as ‘The state formerly known as Rhode Island.’”

Only the Japanese ballerina is excused from walking into that one. The rest of us: guilty as charged.